what are you paying attention to?

what are you paying attention to?

If we are not paying attention or not being present with the moment 47% of the time, then what are we focusing on?

It’s thought that we all have about five main stories that we are repeating over and over again in our minds. Maybe its a worry about the future or an anxiety about something that has happened in the past, maybe its a particular relationship in your life, or continuous self judgment or criticism. 

Perhaps you are aware of some of your own stories?

It can be interesting to note that all of our stories in some way revolve around the I, the me, the mine. Which means that almost half of our days, and weeks, and years, are spent thinking about ourselves. 

Now many of us don’t like the terms selfish, self centred or self focused, we don’t want to think or believe that we have these tendencies, but as we look directly into what happens in the mind, it can be difficult to hide from this. 

There's a quote by writer Charles Kingsley ‘if you want to miserable, think about yourself, about what you want, what you like, what respect people should give you and what people think of you’, and the research (Killingsworth and Gilbert) into mindfulness, mental health and well being is suggesting that there is some truth to this. 

What is being found is that the more that we think about ourselves, the more isolated, disconnected and lonely we feel. The more time we spend caught up in the mind, the more suffering we experience. 

However, when we are paying attention, when we are really present in the moment, with where we are, what we are doing and who we are with, we experience more happiness. We feel more calm and peaceful. 

Now this isn’t to suggest that we should totally stop thinking about ourselves, stop taking care of ourselves or even stop loving ourselves; because these are also important and essential elements of our practice. It is just simply about becoming more aware. Learning to notice these patterns and correlations, and exploring them. 

This is something that I’ve always loved about the yoga, mindfulness and buddhist teachings. They are incredibly practical. We are not being asked to blinding believe or follow something or someone. We are encouraged to explore and investigate. To notice what is going on when we feel very heavy, stressed or anxious, and to look at what we are paying attention to. To also notice what is going on when we feel light, happy and playful, and again, to look at what we are paying attention to. 

The hard work is being brave enough to really see ourselves, our minds, our habits and patterns, with honesty and curiosity. To be courageous enough to say this is helpful and skilful, I am going to work on cultivating more of this, and also being able to recognise when something is unhelpful or unskillful and finding the strength to let it go. 

So take a moment — and ask yourself — how are you feeling and what you are paying attention to? 

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